This morning I was holding a hair tie and I looped it around a big button on the front of my shirt while I brushed my teeth and thought to myself “I’d better not forget that there and wear it all day at work”
GUESS WHAT HAPPENED
robot aspirin (as a name)
—this is a note to myself that I saved on my computer. what does it mean? what prompted it? what is wrong with me?
Ah no, I mostly meant what I was saying here about this being a Really Awkward Transitional Period of his life. I actually like how this one turned out! But like seriously Fenton you’re going to have to do some work on those arms, that’s not going to get you anywhere.
You know what while we’re at it let’s just make this into Gratuitous Fenton Facts Post because I never actually say what his deal is and that would probably make more sense.
once in eighth grade my friends and I laughed for something like five days straight about the phrase “baskets and firkins”
One time my friend told me that when her elementary school class would play Oregon Trail she and her friends would always name one person in their party “my ass,” just because it made the inevitable death scenes funnier.
“My ass has fallen off the wagon and been crushed.”
“My ass has been bitten by a rattlesnake.”
“My ass was attacked by a cougar.”
Actually now that I’m thinking about it I did basically the same thing when I realized you could change the names of the players in Hearts. As a result, “waiting for my butt to move” became a long-running inside joke between me and a few of my cousins.