delicious graphemes

Ok guys.

I need to tell you about what I just did.

What I just did was I spent a long time making a lot of soup, because I really like this soup but it’s very complicated and it has like forty vegetables in it and you have to cook some ahead of time and puree some of them and then add other ones and it has to sit in a crock pot for at least four hours. It is a process. So I spent all this time sort of staring at it and stirring and being like but what if the potatoes aren’t cooked by the time everybody gets home and finally it was ready for the complicated dance of pureeing it in a series of small batches while steaming the rest of the vegetables on the stove and all was well.

And then I put the vegetable pot on the back burner

and turned on the front burner

and sat the glass bowl on the front burner

and put the first few cups through the blender and it was beautiful

and then I poured it in the bowl to make room for the next batch and it erupted in a weird storm of bubbles and I thought “oh dang I turned on the wrong burner good thing I notic-

and then the bowl exploded.

It made a noise like a very large balloon popping. I made a very high, clear sound, like a clarinet hooked up to an air compressor. My dad came out of his room to find the entire kitchen covered in a very impressive quantity of broken glass. The soup was ruined, not because it was spilled but because there was glass in there too. For the record I am totally unharmed except for a tiny nick on one wrist (my new sweatshirt has now been ceremonially bonded to me in blood), despite the fact that I was looking right at the thing when it all went down.

Anyway, what I’m getting at here is that I spent all day making this pot of soup and now I don’t get to eat any of it.

Also that I may be protected by the gods. But the gods can’t give me soup, so I fail to be impressed.

how to do laundry

• gather laundry items and take down to the basement
• scan card in washing machine thing, pay $1.35
• attempt to put in front-loading washer, drop everything on floor instead, make irritated noises
• go into tiny room where everyone keeps their laundry detergent
• be caught incredibly off-guard when you discover there’s a person in there
• put detergent in machine
• in state of unexpected-person-induced confusion, leave without pushing the button on the machine
• forty-five minutes later, go down to get laundry and find it just sitting there
• also the machine appears to have taken your money and run with it, pay again to get the machine to start this time
• rework entire day plan based on laundry timing changes

really stupid typos from this religion paper

• “…a way to reach the goat of nirvana”
• “the ultimate authority is what remains of the founder’s wok”
• consistently mistyping “Islam” as “Ilsman”

Hmmmmm.